Smiting the Orcs

Glamdring, the mighty sword of Middle Earth, had a magical blue shimmer that gave the fell orcs headaches, nausea, fatigue, and sensitivity to light and noise. However, for those too poor to afford said glamorous sword, there is hope. You can accomplish the same feats by gettin' smashed and trashed with the orcs. Upon waking up in the morning, these unlucky orcs face headaches caused by the diuretic effects of ethanol; fatigue and troubles concentrating caused by the failure of the liver to replenish the supply of glucose to the brain; sensitivity to light and noise caused by the removal of the depressant effects of the alcohol; and nausea caused by disruption of the stomach lining. To achieve the effects of Glamdring on steroids, use home-brewed dark-colored liquors, which are likely to contain fusel oils, byproducts of alcohol fermentation not found high quality vodka. Find out the details or learn more.